Tortured Ovaries

Why are my ovaries causing such agony?

Being near a newborn baby.

I have not been within a 50 miles radius of a newborn in over two years, if not longer. There is a reason (other than I have had no family of friends that have recently been knocked up)I get B A B Y  F E V E R.  I get BABY FEVER real bad.

Babies smell so good, they make the most adorable little noises, their feet fit in my mouth, they do not talk back and have to listen to you, they rely on you even if no one else can ... it is like a euphoria but do not be fooled!

Cause:  Infant Meth

Please observe this photo of me holding an angelic newborn.  Don't I look happy?  Doesn't he?  Can you not hear a softened lullaby?

Cause:  Infant Meth

Oh yes, his mother is a friend and I am certain that she did not intend for her baby to put me under his spell but; it happened.  I have had nothing but thoughts of little fingers, little toes, Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo, blue, pink, binkies, strollers, rompers, booties and Pampers all evening.

What is even worse than BABY FEVER?

S I B L I N G  F E V E R which is brought on by an only child (roughly age 8.25 years old) that thinks that life would be so much better with a baby.

Cause:  Infant Meth

I urge each and every one of you; please do not put yourself in close proximity to a newborn baby.  The Infant Meth epidemic is spreading faster than the obesity crisis in America.

Here is a free tip to safeguard you against IM, are you ready?

Take a look at the child that you already have and ask yourself if after you send that one to college; will you still have the finances to feed yourself let alone a baby (wink, wink, smirk, and grin)?  I have my hands full with my baby below that still has me addicted.