The day a "funny" almost did me in.

Having good friends is a must in life.  Having friends that make you laugh is even better.

I had coffee with a friend earlier today at Starbucks.  We chatted about the basic BS for a bit then she said, "I really am sorry to hear about you and XBF".  I said thank you and attempted to dodge the topic and move on to something else.  "So, what happened"?  I knew this was coming because she is so darn nosy!

"Well, I had some issues with his extra curricular activities like arranging illegal dog fights in Downtown Fort Worth for profit along with Michael Vick.  He also sold black market Similac cut with baking soda out of the trunk of his car for a few months.  The real kicker was his addiction to Imodium. He could not get enough of it, day and night.  He needed the "fix" all the time, smoking it, snorting, swallowing and I just could not handle and definitely did not want The Kidlet near that anti-diarrheal substance, for obvious safety reasons".  I say all of this with a smirk on my face since none of it is true.

She giggled as she got the hint that the subject is dead.  I then say, "I just feel like maybe he never even really liked me, as a person".  This was a sincere statement.  She sat for a moment then said, "Yeah, I get that but it seemed more like he actually hated you".  I had just taken a giant sip of my latte and looked up at her when we both busted out laughing and my coffee went spewing out of my mouth, onto the table and obviously down the "wrong pipe".  All at once, I was laughing, crying and gasping for air.  Once she saw that I was truly in distress, she stood up and started pounding my back with her hand while raising my right arm.  We were causing quite the scene as one of the employees came over with a huge cup of water.  Finally, I caught my breath and wiped my eyes while taking a sip of the water then noticed a (very large) audience staring.  I did what anyone would do that was dying of embarrassment, I stood and bowed then announced that I will be accepting tips as they exited the premises.

In true retaliation form, as we were walking out, I noticed her car looked like it needed a wash.  I walked over and poured my entire cup of water over the top after she got in and I calmly walked off.  I received a text that said, "You are going down sister.  Next time I will not save your life so choke on THAT".